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i just wanted to be beautiful by kemariel i just wanted to be beautiful by kemariel
Okay so this took me like forever to finish. x __x;;;

Skip to the p.s. if you want to skip my rambling and get to the important part. xD

This whole thing turned out to be really experimental. I started out trying to use *shirotsuki's coloring tutorial, but after laying down base colors sort of deviated from it eventually. Then I ended up just making lots of additional layers to add details or fix colors and things, and ended up finding ways to do things that I didn't think of before... and then at the end I realized that the colors on the girl needed to be darker because of shadow and light and blahblahblah, so I ended up redoing that all over again...

And anyway that's sort of why it took me so long. xD Messing around with my coloring. = w=;;
Plus I kept getting distracted with other arts. xP

But yeah. Here it is. @ u@;; I daresay it might've come out better, but I guess it turned out okay for so much experimenting. x'D

I'm really sorry the resolution is so low. >: After I started coloring I realized I'd made the lineart way too small, but I didn't want to be back and redo everything again. T uT;;; I'll do it better next time. > 3<;;

Thanks for lookin'! ^^

:heart:,
halcy.

p.s.
One last thing. c:
When I posted the lineart for this image (like 3 months ago OTL) ~ShiaHiguchi asked me to write a story about it. xDD
And since I actually like to write stories, I told her I would write one and post it here when I finished the art. c:
Sooo~ just for you Shia, I'll write a short story about it. xDD

But!

I would also like to hear what this inspires people to think about when they see it.

So what do you think happened in this picture?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconevilraven3:
Evilraven3 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2010
what is going on? she is beautiful, but sad. i notice the swans to. is she sick?
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2010   General Artist
My final idea was that she was an outcast from her society because of her broken wing. The group she was part of worshipped a god that was said to take the form of a crane, thus the folded paper cranes hung from the temple ceiling. The crumpled pieces of paper are meant to symbolize the failure she feels at being unable to fit in with the others. >:
But in the end, there's a happy ending, because she finds someone to repair her wing for her. C:
Reply
:iconevilraven3:
Evilraven3 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2010
ah, it makes more sense now. but does this mean that because of her broken wing she does not feel beautiful?
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2010   General Artist
Yes. c:
Which is sad, but it's because of the standards of the society she lives in. >: Kind of like ours... x ux;
Reply
:iconkeokotheshadowfang:
keokotheshadowfang Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
She does kind of remind me of Colette (From ToS :) ). I absolutely adore it!

When I see it I imagined that she was the only one on the island besides the birds. Because she is so different from her they mock and laugh at her. This hurts her so much but she still longs to be with them.

She starts to make paper cranes and pretend that they are her friends. She starts to believe that she can be just like the real cranes and so she makes fake wings so that she fits in with the rest of the crowd.

The birds then, seeing her new wings, rip one of the wings so that she can not fly and she is left to pick up the pieces.
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2009   General Artist
Aw, thanks!! ; u;

... K...Keo-chan!! ; A; That is definitely my favorite interpretation of it!!! ; 3; <3333
It's so sad, but so beautiful...!! ; n; Awwww~~~~ :heart:
Thanks so much~! ; w;

I really can't even write a story for this anymore. xD I just don't have time anyway, and I've loved even more hearing people's responses of what they interpret this picture as. @ u@
Reply
:iconluvtyler13:
luvtyler13 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009
We just finished reading about the greek gods in my literature class so that seems to be stuck in my mind.

I thought about how she (might) is a goddess? There was a horrible war between the gods and she was injured. The war ended but that does not heal the pain and memory of it. The origami cranes made me thing that (maybe??) her followers (she is a goddess after all) were all killed and she is mourning their death. (she misses them and the cranes are representing them?!)

That is just what came to mind. >_< !!

^_^
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2009   General Artist
Oh wow, what a beautiful interpretation!! ; u; <333

Thanks so much for sharing that!! ^_^ Actually I like your story better than what I was imagining for it~~ xDD
<3
Reply
:iconluvtyler13:
luvtyler13 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2009
Thank you! What was your interpretation?

(Have you said already?) >.<!
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2009   General Artist
Ahh, I started writing a whole story for it, but I never finished because I got so busy... ; w;
OTL;;;;
I have the whole idea for it though~ > .<;;; So hopefully I'll surprise you all some day and post it. xD;

It was about this separate world far off in the galaxy somewhere, and these angelic beings that inhabit it... xDDD
I really kind of like your idea better though, hahaha! x'D
Reply
:iconshiahiguchi:
ShiaHiguchi Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2009
WHOAWHOAWHOA. YOU COLORED IT.
[/parties] :dummy:

This picture makes me think that like. I dunno.
It makes me feel sad but hopeful,
as if she has a chance to become
what she wants to become. [/shot]
I suck at thinking. orz orz orz

Ahaha. You remembered the story. c:
CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT. :la:
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009   General Artist
UNBELIEVABLE, RIGHT?! 8D;;;
-parties with-

Haha, ahw, that's really sweet. ; u;
Thanks for sharing. x3

YES. 8D
I have it all figured out, I just have to finish typing it!! It'll be up soon, promise. >u<b
Reply
:iconshiahiguchi:
ShiaHiguchi Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2009
SWEETTTT. Can't wait can't wait. 8DDD
Reply
:iconforbiddenimmortality:
ForbiddenImmortality Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009
awwwww~~
the expression with the scenery matched the phrase of teh title!!!!
Reply
:iconhinata-hime:
hinata-hime Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
WAAAH~ Truly truly inspiring Halcy-chan~ Q A Q :heart:
OTL;;;;; *bows to your greatness* DDD;
I need to start trying things like this.
; u;' fwah~
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009   General Artist
Ahww, thanks Sasu-chan! I'm so glad it could inspire you~ ; u;
OMG don't bow to me!!!! xDD;;;; -pulls you up- Nonono!! ; u; This just took a lot lot lot of time, that's all... no greatness. xD;;; orz
You should give it a try! :'3 I never thought I'd actually finish it... xDD
Reply
:iconmilk-tea-panda:
Milk-Tea-Panda Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009
awesome background :dummy: (art all together is amazing)
I think she's hoping (wishing) for her other wing (?) to be healed/fixed so she can go out and be useful again :dummy:
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009   General Artist
Thanks! ^u^-

Aww! :'3 Thanks for sharing your thoughts! ; u;
Actually that's pretty close to the story I'm writing for it. x3 It'll be posted soon!
Reply
:iconmilk-tea-panda:
Milk-Tea-Panda Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2009
awesome cant wait! OuO
Reply
:icontrickssi:
trickssi Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009
Beautiful! Reminds me of Colette for some reason... and makes me all the more endeared! I was excited to hear about your process, actually ^^; Again, just, gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. I love to look at your work! <3
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009   General Artist
Aww! ; u; From Tales of Symphonia, right? @ u@;; -hopes her memory is correct- I still need to see that... T uT;;
xD Really? If you want me to go more in-depth I can tell you more about what I did, but... there wasn't any real method or anything, really... just lots of experimenting. xDD;;;

Aww, thanks so much!! ; u; <33
Reply
:icontwiichii:
twiichii Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Student General Artist
omg. . . D: It's reminding me that I have more star paper. . I've only made 1.8 this summer, and I need to finish five more packs before school starts! OTLmaaaannn
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009   General Artist
Aww!! ; u; -patpat- Good luck!
I'm glad the drawing was helpful in reminding you!! x'D
Reply
:icontwiichii:
twiichii Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2009  Student General Artist
Ahahahah! Thankies. OTL
Reply
:iconpreciousmiseries:
PreciousMiseries Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i think that as a child she feels that there are somethings in this world that make you feel important to others, be they god, human or else. when you become damanged as a angel and can't fly to the heavens. does it make you human? if so like all humans we sometimes feel we're not worth looking at if we can't be like this or that. in which we find comfort in believing in whatever helps us feel happy, even if it only covers the pain. we wish hard and cry to be something more reither it be to be who we were before or someone to be now. we must look down deep to see are own beauty when no one else sees it. only then can we truely sore to the heavens and be proud of who we are not what we are......sorry i got so sucked up into your picture it really hit home. XD i love it!
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009   General Artist
Oh wow... ; u;
Thank you so much for this. It really makes me happy to see that a piece of my art could evoke so much thought and emotion.
What you wrote was really beautiful too!

I'm glad you like the drawing, and thank you! ^^
Reply
:iconpreciousmiseries:
PreciousMiseries Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
your welcome, i can't wait to see what you draw next. :D i'm sure it'll be wonderful. :)
Reply
:iconloki-dreamweaver:
loki-dreamweaver Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009
so very beautiful :) especially the wings and papercranes
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2009   General Artist
Thanks much! c:
Reply
:iconmasago-sama:
Masago-Sama Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009
When I saw this, automatically I thought, "Wow, pathetic character." Because anyone that tries to be beautiful has a low self-esteem, and needs to have a friend or someone to talk to. <^^> Good luck on the story! Hope my feedback helped. XP
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009   General Artist
xDD;; Th-thank you...? Haha, that's true though I guess... x ux;;
xD Thanks.
Reply
:iconmasago-sama:
Masago-Sama Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009
No problem! <^^>
Reply
:iconrenak13:
RenaK13 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Student General Artist
I think she got hurt, and isnt pretty anymoar(?)
So she is making those origami birds to make her wish come true. I cant remember how many you had to make tho xD was it 100? haha
I love this~
I like how one of her wings is broken. And the paper origami birds hanging from the ceiling : )
Awesome job~!
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009   General Artist
Aww. ; w; I like that story... thanks for sharing~ x3
(And it's actually 1,000! @ .@)

Thanks!! ^^
Reply
:iconrenak13:
RenaK13 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Student General Artist
Welcome ^ ^
Aaah! I new I was off! xD I knew it had ones and zeros tho ,haha.
Reply
:iconyadiyada27:
yadiyada27 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009
beautiful and sad, lots of feelings involved in this piece, good job :clap:
Reply
:iconkemariel:
kemariel Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009   General Artist
Thank you! ^^
Reply
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